A Parent's Learning Curve

I had a daughter who was recruitable for field hockey. I figured this out early in her high school career - 7th grade. As she discovered that she had the potential and desire to play in college, this created a series of challenges. 

Challenge 1

We needed to figure out what being recruited would look like within our family's balance. We were lucky enough to have a couple of older teammates who were being recruited or playing at local colleges. I spent a good bit of game time asking questions about the process and what it was like for them (this would be a theme through our challenges). Fortunately, the other families were pretty forthcoming, and my daughter could also ask similar questions to her teammates. We spent a good bit of time referencing what we learned and researching on the computer to verify. 

Challenge 2

We needed to figure out the most important and economical activities for the recruiting process while balancing family time. Our computer research led to many "pay to play" offers for camps, clubs, showcases, and recruiting agents. At every turn, there was an opportunity to pay services for their prowess in getting students on a college team. Our job was to figure out what made sense with our budget and to the goal of being a student-athlete. So, we set a yearly budget and would double check with our local families which camps and recruiting services were worth the fee. This led to a lot of "no's" to higher-priced camps, travel, and videographers. This process was a great skill development for my daughter. She learned:

• Budgeting while prioritizing which camp and services allowed her to purchase more resources
• Film-editing - she did her own videos rather than paying for them
• Research of colleges, coaches, and services
• Email outreach and connection to coaches

At the same time, I learned how to guide, support, and challenge assumptions in the recruiting process. 

Challenge 3

We had to deal with campus visits. Luckily, our network and research were well-honed. We asked a lot of questions from coaches, evaluated the answers, and cross-referenced with friends and computer research. Eventually, we would look at the scholarship offers against the tuition and read on financial aid. We would also look at the graduation and acceptance rates of each school. Once on campus, we got to see how people acted in classrooms, dorm rooms, and on practice fields. Were families welcoming or competitive? Did the older players challenge and support the recruits? When was practice time during the day? Did they have to travel to the practice field by car or team vehicle? Through this process, there was a lot of car time and remote working on college campuses, but the drives and days were worth it.

Challenge 4

There was so much to do and learn that both my daughter and I had to figure out priorities constantly. Faced with limited resources, what is the most important task to spend money and time on? Over the 3 year process, I land on the following:-

• Skills overexposure for camps and clubs. I was happier to pay for activities where learning field skills was a priority.
• Go to where the coaches of your schools go. We would pick camps and showcases run or attended by the schools we targeted. We avoided events with a priority on film as a promise but an upcharge.
• As recruitment proceeds, narrow your activities. Once the first recruiting call came, we began to narrow activities and schools. Pennsylvania and New York became New England, which eventually became Massachusetts - our home state. Division 1 became Division 2 and 3 because the numbers and school worked better for her.